do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
