I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
sex in a hospital.. check
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he just fucked me for my cheese.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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