Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
