dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
