At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
