So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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