so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize