Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
