I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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