Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
