I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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