i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize