he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
