I think i sorta joined a cult last night
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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