dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
