i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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