The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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