it was like his penis was on wheels.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
