i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
