What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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