i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
