Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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