I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
