One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
