i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
