He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
