so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
