heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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