last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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