shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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