It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
