just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
