No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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