using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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