There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
