I feel like abortions should bother me more
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
