All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
