There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
