I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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