you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
