so that wasnt chicken after all
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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