two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
