i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
