Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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