just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
