I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
