non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
