I want to have your abortion
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
