the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
