I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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