the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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