Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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