Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
