you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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