it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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