Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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