Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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