that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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