I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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