i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
