did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We left the knife in your bed.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
