i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I skipped work to stalk him.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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