hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
